feminist, personal

Vaginal Atrophy

Today’s thoughts will be short and brief. I almost didn’t blog today because my edits are eating me alive.

When you get to be my age things, start drying up. When I speak of things, I talk about vaginas. In my culture, a juicy cooz is a sign of vitality and sexiness, so when my valley became the Sahara it struck a decisive blow to my self-esteem. To this day, when the spouse must get the lube, I feel inadequate. Lacking lubrication isn’t the only problem. Aroused vaginas dilate.

No, I’m not talking about vaginal gape. There’s nothing wrong with vaginal gape, as someone that enjoys group bangs of all kinds, the moment when an aroused alpha grabs hold of the center of attention to present her gape to the camera, that’s mighty arousing.

You know you’re too old to dilate when lube is employed, but the peen still hurts when it enters. According to my doc, it happens to the best of us. There are lots of meds on the market that work on a hormonal level. I’m shit out of luck because between my thyroid and the chromosomal thing; estrogen antagonists don’t function without some serious fucking side-effects. My spouse is not on Viagra, so I get laid when Jupiter aligns with Mars in the House of the Black Cat. Meds like osphena and duavee are for women my age with dry vaginas that won’t dilate, and they have spouses taking hard-on pills. They’re getting laid at least twice a week and so need something they can take by mouth (pun is completely unintentional but hilarious).


I employ these liquibeads from K-Y (not turfing for them on my blog, if you need them, google); you can find them everywhere lube is sold, and OMG they work. It’s like Niagara Falls about twenty-minutes after insertion. The lube works inside of the vagina, so it feels like you’ve dilated (and you relax more because there’s no pain during, unless you want there to be). Women that have no issues with moisture use these and think it’s too messy and they feel gross for days after, but if your vag is a rolling tumbleweed like mind, the shit lasts a night and you’ll be okay the next day. It works. It will leave vaginal residue on your panties (remember when we had this problem as teens?) just run your stained underwear under hot water before putting it in the laundry hamper. Problem solved.

See you next Sunday.