personal, writing-life

Courage

It takes courage to put yourself out there.

Imagine growing up in a home where everything you did and said was ridiculed, derided, dismissed, or met with outright violence. If there are no bruises, you’re forced to live in this environment until you can physically separate yourself from it.

Imagine leaving that world and fancying yourself a writer. Writing for the sheer love of it–is it possible to love something that doesn’t love you back? You’ve grown up with people that don’t love you back, so this relationship with writing isn’t undiscovered country.

Imagine one day grasping the fact that you’re not writing because you love it, you’re writing because you love the feedback. You desire others to see you (your work) in ways that make you more than just some worn cog in an emotional grinder. It’s a double-edged sword, this realization. You’ve matured cut off from positive reinforcement so much you seek it through your work. When none comes, it’s soul crushing.

It takes courage to put yourself out there.

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