I Bet Columbus Ate Pierogi

If you’re from a place like Brighton Beach or Williamsburg in NYC, Detroit, Chicago or Buffalo on the Lakes, then you know that today isn’t about some Italian guy who got lost on the Queen of Spain’s dime and discovered Central America. It’s about carbohydrates. It’s about cholesterol. It’s about being Slavic. It’s about fucking PIEROGIES.

When I was kid, National Pierogi Day always fell on a Monday in October (naturally, because it’s Polish-American month you non-Slav troglodytes!) and the weekend before that Monday the grocery stores and local corner store always let you know with goofy signage or end-cap displays selling all the things you need to make Pierogi Day a good one. If you go to a small market, the signs in Slovak, Polish, or Russian, topped the shelf with bags of flour, mash potato mix and cheese, jars of sauerkraut and whole cabbage, marinated meat and mushrooms, and cans of fruit pie mix. In the fridge there’d be signs too – because you can’t eat this stuff without sour cream or butter and you can’t make pierogies without eggs. If you didn’t partake in the local market, you hit the grocery store where there’d be a sale display packed with blue-boxes of Mrs. T’s to lure you into celebrating even if your weren’t a Slav.

I’ve been in Texas for about 12 years and in that time you’d think that I’d be used to the fact that this place is like living in the dairy-case. There’s no other ethnic culture here that isn’t related to Mexico. Now some readers might point out that west of Austin there are some towns with deceptively Czech names. Here are the facts: these cities were settled by Sudety – German born types that got the hell out of dodge after WW1 when the real Czechs started cluttering up the landscape. You’ll find nothing in these town except beer gardens, German sausage, and Oktoberfests that have nothing to do with Eastern Europe.

I went into the grocery store today and found a row of Mrs. T’s sitting in the freezer case—and adding insult to injury? Of the eight boxes they had there was only one flavor. 0_0 *sigh*

**Update coming– after lunch … **

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