Ken Doll of the World, Japan?

So yeah, I found a brilliant web site that is all about Ken dolls and Ken doll fashions.  Any way…  I noticed that Mattel has decided that a Ken doll from Japan is naturally a ‘Samurai’.  Adding insult to injury, his face looks like Tom Cruises face from that douchalicious film, The Last Samurai.

So uh… if I were going to buy a Ken doll to satisfy my American-fetish-for-a-foreign-culture (because obviously, these dolls are not made for the countries they represent), here’s what I want in a KEN DOLL OF JAPAN:

  • Salary Man Ken: accessories include a diarama izakaya–for a night of beer, sashimi, and some serious nomunication!

  • Hikikomori Ken: He doesn’t talk to his family or friends about his problems, will not seek professional help.  Accessories include empty bedroom, with hotplate and laptop. Hoarded items to junk up room, sold separately!

  • Herbivorous Ken:  If you know anything about me or my comics work– I need not explain this one.

  • Yakuza Ken comes with 5 lackeys (you name them!) to make a SixPack Set!  Draw your own tats and wash off with warm water!  Kids, get parents permission before drawing…

I think you get the picture… I won’t even go into ‘Host Ken’ or ‘Otaku Ken’, because it’s just too easy.  I will, however, make a request, should Mattel ever get around to making Japanese Ken dolls that fit how we American cultural-fetishists actually see Japanese men, then I want to make a request:

I WANT A YASUNORI KATO KEN!

With Imperial Japanese Army costume and a readable copy of a Senji Ryakketsu!

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1 Comment

  1. Lol, but serious this Japanese ken doll is far more handsome than Tom Cruise and probably taller too.

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