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That m/m Thing…

July 21, 2014

I can’t believe I’m back to this, after stating clearly that this blog will have none of it.

It got mentioned in a discussion I wasn’t supposed to see, that I no longer do GloBL comics, or write m/m fiction & fanwork, because there’s no money in it anymore. Oh I wish I could play that card with a serious face! I stopped writing in the genre when things got creatively-cumbersome.  Notice I didn’t say morally-cumbersome? Who can play the moral card when talking about writing erotica?

If you don’t know me, I used to write homoerotic comics; and I got a horror novel out there. I never used my work to tout myself an ally; I also dared to admit that I was a married straight woman. This disqualified me from any and all arguments—pro or against, regarding the merits of yaoi-comics and m/m fiction. I was either a homophobe, or a self-hating woman that didn’t stand up to menfolk telling us what we could, and couldn’t be, aroused by.

Creatively-cumbersome is when I write out a story (because that’s what writers do) and then pause to weigh the emotional ramifications of releasing said story, to a host of readers with a plethora of baggage. I know—you think I’m blaming readers for their opinions. NO, I’m not.

There’s a certain faction of socially aware (and socially justified) critics that have decided they’re tired of m/m being the established means upon which their lifestyles are put up as masturbatory fodder for the feminine masses. Being masturbatory fodder for the gay male masses is okay—so long as it’s a gay man writing it, and it’s written for gay male readers. Same applies to lesbian porn BTW, when it’s made by lesbians, its ok—but when male writers and comic creators do it—it’s about male gaze and it’s wrong. Female gaze can only applied to lesbians for lesbians, and to straight men, for straight women.

I think you get it…I certainly do.

I reached a point where I dreaded a story getting any form of  good-reception from gay male critics, because it always led to gay men critical of the genre to ask, ‘why are you writing gay male romance anyway? Do you think we lack the romance gene, and you’re here to show us how it’s done? I know the feeling boys, I do. Being objectified in an unrealistic way so that a majority group can become aroused—it sucks. It’s been happening to my gender since men learned to spell their names in the snow with their penises in their hands.

Here’s the rub though: Anytime a woman is asked to justify why she writes something erotic or sexual, and for whom, by a man (gay or straight), that’s patriarchy. I don’t owe you an explanation for why I write what I write, BUT, out of respect for your feelings on the subject, I would never attack your posted position on it because I’m not a privileged douche (that’s not sarcasm—I learned that if I offend you, I have no right to tell you not to be offended.)

On the flip-side of my creatively-cumbersome dilemma, was the female fandom (fen is still an acceptable term, yes?).

I got to know and respect a gay male creator with work and a website shunned for not being yaoi (or yaoi enough). 1. He was the wrong gender, and 2. His works weren’t exclusively made for female fans. 3. As a gay man, he should stick to writing and marketing to gay men. Being the wonderful person he is, he took it in stride and ignored these critical ladies (some of whom were editors at publishing companies)—being the raging asshole I am, I actually, for a brief moment in time, supported such notions. I was a jackass, but after speaking to him, I realized that I had no right to be, a jackass. I like him, and his work, and if he wants to call it yaoi and be a yaoi fan, who is any woman to say he can’t? Certainly not me.

Anytime a woman asks a gay man to justify why he writes romantic or drama-driven erotica, it’s homophobic.  The very question itself gives credence to the notion that gay man aren’t really human beings capable of being aroused by the same things we as women are–romance, love, complicated plots, or straight men macking on each other.  On that same note, a gay man writing gay erotica depicting unrealistic sexual relationships, or insanely destructive romance, doesn’t need to justify why he writes what he does, just because his work happens to appeal to us as women .

What if the shoe were on the other foot and said gay man was writing/drawing sexist depictions of women? I’ve already given my thoughts on Tennessee Williams and DC Comics for the month, thank you.

Writing m/m erotica and GloBL comics became creatively-cumbersome when marginalized groups on both sides decided that no one could share anything pornographic, romantic, or erotic, because everyone was doing it wrong, and for all the wrong reasons. When there’s absolutely no positive reinforcement, even for those that manage to get it right, what’s the fucking point of homoerotic comics or fiction, or yaoi or GloBL comics, for anyone?

(Warning – promotional ego ahead) Have I just stopped writing? Hell no. I’m working on a series. Is it erotic? Sometimes. Is it unrealistic? To the max, it’s scifi! Does it have a real publisher? Yes it does. Will I get criticized for it? Probably, yes. I suppose this makes me a masochist—at least until a group of masochists gets together and tells me not to appropriate their identity, to justify why I keep writing shit that pisses people off (now that’s sarcasm.)

Thank you,
Tina ‘Gynocrat’ Anderson

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100 Degree Days – all right!

July 10, 2014

It’s July, and I have some good news, finally.

My outline was approved for book 7; I had to take out every scene of fun-sexy-romance heavy on the minor characters, and replace it with two distinct narratives featuring two of the main players in the series. It was hard to do—but it was worth it. It’s why editors exist right? To reign in our crazy fever dreaming?

I’ve been inundated with thoughts of LeviHan (Attack on Titan) and oddly enough, old school Piccolo/Dende (DBZ). Don’t judge me, I started out writing fan-fiction and making fan-comics; lucky for me I’m on a tight schedule, with no time to embarrass myself on Ficwad or Fanficiton.net. :)  I’ll just continue to live vicariously through Team Four Star.

So my health is looking up. The gallstone isn’t bad enough to require surgery, and the ulcer in my stomach just means no more alcohol or soda with high-fructose corn syrup. Also—I’ve been ordered to exercise at least once a day (back the gym I guess!). This makes sense, because writing does keep me in a chair from 7am to 4pm, every day. I move from writing, to TV watching because it’s typically a 100 degrees every day here in Texas, until October. So yeah, gym it is.

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Accomplishment, at a Price.

June 28, 2014

So next week is going to be… unpleasant.

I have a colonoscopy on Monday, also included in that package is an upper GI tract exam, yay me! I have one day to recover from that, then I get to have a glorious transvaginal ultrasound on Wednesday, followed by an abdominal ultrasound on Thursday.  Don’t get worried (those that actually care) none of this is life-threatening; I’ll be fine. I’ll be spending the next week lying around and watching an epic fuck ton of Netflix, Amazon-Instant, and whatever shit I can find on the YouTube ap of my SmartTV.

As some of you remember, I lost years-worth of work on a series I’d been developing, due to a computer error. Well, I buckled down and focused every ounce of my life on rewriting the manuscripts I lost, and working on those that needed to be done. It’s my constant state of work that has sort of put me in a bad way health-wise…being sedentary and eating between edits is not good for a writer in her mid-40’s.

Was it worth it?

I managed to rewrite all five of the novels I lost to the computer crash, and complete a first draft of book-six, which I hadn’t started. I’ve two books left in this series and I’ll be done—and book seven is giving me a little problem. The plot is all over the place, likely because my health issues are all over the place and I can’t focus. I’m stepping away the series for a month (until editor begins passing on revisions to me for the first novel).

Deep breath. I got skills and opportunities. I’ll get there.

*

On the subject of TV.

Fargo finale was interesting, and overall I loved this series.  FX got me on this one–then it fumbled big time with the horrific Tyrant (is this the 80′s? Rape for the hell of it is not cool–and this show’s just loaded with it in the pilot ep). Another sexist boner that slapped itself against my forehead this month? Dominion. Really SyFy? You took a character I loved (admittedly, it was because Paul Bettany was playing him) and turned him into a gang-banging porno type. >_< Oy gevalt. You can keep your angel war, I’ll stick with Supernatural.

yewll

Defiance came back, and is as cool as ever.  I hate seeing Doc Yewll in prison–but I adore the fact that Datak is sort of her bitch. The poor, horny and helpless fool…I almost feel sorry for him.  Almost.

maggie

I’m sort of hooked on Falling Skies again, only because I called the Maggie/Ben ship last season, when I thought she needed to ditch that complicated douche Hal.  She’s a clever, complex woman–and wasting her time on that mess of a man is beneath her.  Go for the younger meat sister, it’s better looking and less stressful.  You have enough stress trying to fight the Esphene.

-T

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